The Toolbox Project is the brainchild of Mark A. Collin, MA, MFT, who created this unique social emotional curriculum while working as a counselor at a K–8 school in Northern California. The students he worked with faced particularly hard personal and familial challenges, and they struggled to identify their feelings and process them in a productive way. To help his students find the words to express themselves, manage conflict, and approach each day with confidence and agency, he leaned on the metaphor of a toolbox. What are the skills and practices—in other words, the “tools”—that we already hold within us and that we can wield to tackle the ups and downs of being a human in the world today? Together with his students, he came up with 12 tools, each accompanied with a short instructional phrase—as seen in the image on page 39.

The success of this educational experiment was instantaneous.

His students finally had the language to access their emotions, their resilience, and their capacity to collaborate with one another as peers. From there, Collin formally wrote up a curriculum to be used in schools far and wide. And thus, the Toolbox Project was born. Officially founded in 2006, the program now runs in 200 cities in 38 states serving over 265,000 students.

The subtle genius of the Toolbox Project is that the 12 tools are completely innate. Every child and every adult possesses them—it’s just a matter of identifying, practicing, and then learning what moments to use them. Within the 12 tools, it’s important to note the distinction between “me tools” (tools used individually and focused on internal regulation) and “we tools” (tools used interpersonally and focused on building social skills or resolving conflict). Every tool is designed to empower the individual to get in touch with their emotions and manage them in a constructive way—ultimately helping to build stronger cognitive, social, and executive functioning skills.

The 2024–2025 school year marked the initial rollout of the Toolbox Project in Nightingale’s Lower School. Committed to educating the whole child, when a student steps inside the blue doors, she will encounter not only academic rigor and exploration, but also individual character development and relationship building skills. The latter, commonly known as social emotional learning—or SEL—is an essential component of education today. In order to become a positively contributing member of society, students must be taught and practice self-awareness and self-control, which in turn encourages empathy and responsible choices.

The decision to bring the Toolbox Project to Nightingale was a collaborative effort led by Head of Lower School Dr. Rebecca Urciuoli and the Lower School Leadership Team. The program came at the recommendation of the SEL committee that had been chaired by Director of Lower School Music Mary Beth Alexander and Lower School Reading and Learning Specialist Lucy Lobban-Bean, after researching a variety of programs and selecting three finalists.

Lower School Counselor Haley Collins was particularly drawn to the Toolbox Project because of the ownership it provides students over their own experiences. “[It’s] empowering because it places the onus on students rather than the adults in their lives. Students learn that they already have these skills within them and need to practice how and when to use them just like any other skill. The program is helpful at all stages of life because it can be tailored to meet individual and developmental needs, which allows for students to feel a sense of agency over their own learning,” Ms. Collins shared.

Class III Homeroom Teacher Christina Milbourne echoed this sentiment as well.

She shared, “Class III students learned to use the Using Our Words and the Please and Thank You Tools to navigate group projects. They know that we all have equal responsibility to explain our perspectives clearly, or ask each other clarifying questions when we don’t understand a classmate. We can use words like ‘excuse me,’ ‘please,’ and ‘thank you,’ to speak to one another respectfully, diffusing the tension of a difficult project with many cooks in the kitchen!”

Training the Lower School teachers in the Toolbox Project began in June 2024, with two additional training sessions throughout the last year. Rollout of the Toolbox Project began right away at the start of school in September in Kindergarten through Class IV. A new tool was introduced each cycle and after every four tools, students and teachers would spend the next cycle reviewing what they had previously covered. By the middle of April, all of the tools had been covered, which gave way to a full scale review of the 12 through the end of the year. Lower School families were also included, receiving “home connection” handouts every time a new tool was introduced.

While there is a central curriculum, teachers also had the flexibility to tap into their creativity and taylor their approach to the tools, whether through reading stories, role play, or simply weaving the tools into everyday instruction or moments throughout the Schoolhouse. This flexibility allowed for a seamless integration, as the Toolbox Project felt like a natural extension of the work Lower School teachers were already doing in the classroom. The most significant benefit, however, has been the consistent,shared language across all grades. For Ms. Milbourne, having this common language among teachers, students, and families has been transformative.

“Communication has become far more equitable and efficient,” Ms. Milbourne noted. “Teachers often start class with the Breathing Tool to set the expectation that we are all calm, focused, and present. It’s not all seriousness either! It’s a very powerful thing when teachers and students can joke or have a funny memorable moment, and a student can independently signal the taking time tool to take a walk down the hall and back to calm themselves down. There’s room for work and play and kids have the ability to bring themselves back.”

Incorporating the Toolbox Project into assemblies this year has also been an essential part of the rollout, which was overseen by Lower School Librarian Megan Westman. Her goal was two-fold: for students to gain a greater awareness and understanding of how the tools can function at all times and not just in challenging moments and so that students could appreciate how tools have shown up throughout history (even though Toolbox Project language didn’t exist in that moment of time, of course).

To put this into practice, every assembly would include a highlighted tool that connected to the overall assembly topic. A moment this year that illustrated this connection beautifully was the Native & Indigenous Heritage Month assembly in November. In this instance, as students learned about the concept of a Land Acknowledgement, their Toolbox Highlight was the Personal Space Tool—“I have a right to my space. You have a right to yours.”

“After reading This Land: The History of the Land We’re On by Ashley Fairbanks and Bridget George and introducing a Land Acknowledgement we could use as a Lower School, we asked students what they thought the Personal Space Tool had to do with Indigenous history. Students of all ages were able to see the connection between the Personal Space Tool and our obligation to the Tribal Nations who had their land stolen through colonization in the United States. This seamless transition between understanding how the Personal Space Tool can help us ask a friend to scooch over and give us more room and how it can lead us to understanding historical injustice was incredibly powerful,” Ms. Westman recalled.

When asked if there was a tool that the students found particularly helpful, Ms. Collins answered the Garbage Can Tool—“I let the little things go.”—with zero hesitation. “It is the only tool that targets thoughts. This tool is especially helpful for Lower School students because it teaches them that humans don’t need to give into every fleeting feeling and have the ability to challenge thoughts.”

At the end of year one, Ms. Collins asserts that the Toolbox Project was a positive contribution to the life of the Lower School. She’s found it especially rewarding when she’s in conversation with students and they will bring up a tool organically—a testament to the incredible hard work that the Lower School teachers have put into teaching the program this year.

“I met with a student that was feeling really disappointed with herself for not getting an answer right in math. She identified that she was using her Using Our Words tool by talking to me about it. She then chose to use the Garbage Can tool by writing her negative self-talk down on paper before throwing it away, which naturally led to a conversation about growth mindset and positive affirmations,” Ms. Collins shared.

This article recently appeared in the summer issue of The Blue Doors.